Visitor's Guide To Dallas, TX . . .
	(America's Fifth Largest City)

1.   The Dallas North Tollway is our daily version of NASCAR.
2.   Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Dallas
	has its own version of traffic rules ... Hold on
	and pray. There is no such thing as a dangerous
	high-speed chase in Dallas. We all drive like that.
3.   All directions start with, "Go down to Beltline," ...
	which has no beginning and no end.
4.   The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic a
	"scenic drive."
5.   The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00. The evening
	rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00. Friday's rush hour
	starts Thursday morning.
6.   If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear
	ended, cussed out and possibly shot. When you are the
	first one on the starting line, count to five when the
	light turns green before going to avoid getting into
	any cross-traffic's way.
7.   Arapaho Road can only be pronounced by a native.  The same
	holds true for Wycliff Avenue, Worcola Street, Sul Ross,
	and Routh Street.
8.   Construction on I-30 is a way of life and a permanent form
	of entertainment.
9.   All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we
	are in Fort Worth!"
10.  If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably
	a factory defect.
11.  All old ladies with blue hair in pink Cadillacs have the
	right of way.
12.  Story Road mysteriously changes names as you cross inter-
	sections, unless you're on Storey Road.
13.  If asking directions in Irving, you must have knowledge of
	Spanish.
14.  Dallas/Fort Worth International airport has four terminal
	buildings connected by one tram that never works.
15.  A trip across town (East to West) will take a minimum of four
	hours, although many North/South freeways have unposted
	minimum speeds of 75. The minimum acceptable speed on the
	Dallas North Toll Road is 85. Anything less is considered
	downright sissy.
16.  The wrought iron on windows near Oak Cliff isn't ornamental.
17.  Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker
	that says, "Keep honking. I'm reloading." In fact, don't
	honk at anyone. Concealed weapons are a jealously guarded
	God-given right.
18.  If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60 mph
	zone, people are not waving when they go by.
19.  You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is "DAL-LUS",
	or "DAA-LIS" depending on if you live inside or outside
	LBJ Freeway.
20.  LBJ is called "The Death Trap" for two reasons: "death" and
	"trap."

Personal Note:  I believe Austin, TX has far worse traffic and
		construction management than Dallas, Tx . . . 
		and actually could take some lessons from Dallas
		on traffic control and improvement.