Strange Product Labels (Editted By: Lil' Viv)

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as
possible.  These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods:

On Sears Hairdryer:
	Do not use while sleeping.
		(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
	You could be a winner!  No purchase necessary.  Details inside.
		(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial Soap:
	Directions: Use like regular soap.
		(And that would be how?)

On some Swann Frozen Dinners:
	Serving suggestion: Defrost.
		(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On a hotel that provided shower cap in a box:
	Fits one head.
		(The big one or the little one?)

On Tesco's Tiramisu Dessert, Printed on the Bottom of the Box:
	Do not turn upside down.
		(Too late!  You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
	Product will be hot after heating.
		(Are you sure?  Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta Iron:
	Do not iron clothes on body.
		(But wouldn't that save more time?  Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
	Do not drive car or operate machinery.
		(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents
		 if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
	Warning: May cause drowsiness.
		(One would hope!)

On a Korean Kitchen Knife:
	Warning: Keep out of children.
		(Or pets!  What's for dinner?)

On a string of Chinese-Made Christmas Lights:
	For indoor or outdoor use only.
		(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a Japanese Food Processor:
	Not to be used for the other use.
		(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's Peanuts:
	Warning: Contains Nuts.
		(But no peas?)

On an American Airlines Packet of Nuts:
	Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
		(Have a lobotomy.)

On a Swedish Chainsaw:
	Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
		(What is this, a home castration kit?)

On a child's Superman costume:
	Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
		(That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)